The first way I am applying this question is emotionally. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I cannot cry. I am not sure if I just suppressed my emotions so much that now they just don't show, but I am definitely curious to know what is going on. Things that I normally would have found spiritually touching or just saddening no have no affect on me whatsoever. It seems as if I have just gone numb. I am reading my scriptures, going to church and saying my prayers but I still feel nothing, and as far as I know I haven't done anything that would take the spirit away. It may just be the fact that nothing is really affecting me right now. I still notice prfound moments but my reaction isn't the same, before I would be blubbering like an idiot and now there is absolutely nothing. Am I doing something wrong???
The next way I want to apply this question is to the dating aspect. Before it never really bugged me because I wasn't that interested, and had better things to do with my time. Do I intimidate guys so much that they don't want to date me? Is it a physical thing? Will I end up alone? I know my sisters like to pry into my personal life, but I find it embarrassing to say that I have no one, and that no one is interested. I know this may come as a surprise to many people, but I am at that point in my life where I would like to think that I am going to find someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. Right now there is nothing...absolutely nothing and it kind of drives me nuts. It is hard to think of yourself as beautiful when no one is interested. I don't want to be alone and even though I am still young I don't want to wait forever. I don't expect to get married any time soon but I would like to think that it will happen sooner than later.
SCHOOL
I am having a lot of fun at school, even though it is keeping me super busy. This week alone I have 3 tests that I have to take in the testing center, watch a movie for American Heritage, write 1 paper, take 2 quizzes, do 3 math assignments, and complete 1 online test. Since it is pretty late and I have to get up early I am going to go to sleep and will have give another update later!
Ironman!
11 years ago
2 comments:
Dear Canasta partner,
I am coming up to visit you next week. I'm glad you are in Provo!!
Also, don't feel alone! I am older than you and more single than you (I just decided that... right now). So know that there are many of us who might want to be dating and stuff but simply can't find a single person to do it with. There is nothing wrong with us, it's merely an increase is the stupidity of men.
Brooke, nothing is wrong with you. Trust me. First off, just because you aren't tearing up for spiritual things doesn't mean you aren't feeling the spirit. For me it's a hormone thing. Sometimes my hormones really play into my emotions. There are sometimes that people can tell me the saddest, most touching stories and my eyes are dry! Then there are other times when I cry at a hallmark commercial!! Keep doing all the spiritual things you are doing. The spirit can be felt as a calm or a peace...not always tears.
As for the dating situation...I'm sure there are a lot of great guys down in that utah county bubble, but there are certainly some crazies. I wouldn't be too worried about not finding, "the one" in the bubble. It is fun to date, socialize and meet new people. The best way to do that is attend all the activities and talk to people. But don't go with the intention of "ok, I have to meet someone tonight." Love will certainly find you. Just keep on doing what you are doing. It may seem mundane and unexciting, but you're really doing great things.
Hang in there girl! You're totally hot...the right guy will come...but at the right time. Just keep on working hard, making time for play, and of course keeping spiritually strong. Love ya cutie!!!
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